And so it continues, the planning, the prepping, the realisation that we’re moving to an idyllic country.

Dave and I have now just developed this look, it’s different from the crazed look that we normally have toward each other. It appears to be a knowing, an understanding that we haven’t a clue what we’re doing. A look of anticipation hoping that the other has the answer. A look of excitement (Steady up, excitement that we’re moving – please bring all minds up from the gutter) at what our future looks like together as a family. Alternatively it could just be trapped wind. He’s probably just planning his next game on Fifa against my brother.

We’ve found ourselves embroiled in a competition to learn the most Italian. Unfortunately, this appears to be a battle that I’m losing thanks to South West trains and their levels of unreliability.

It’ll be fine though, and if not at least I’ll have il tavolo per due per favore. Or even better and Siete pronti.

Talking English at the best of times can be a challenge and any one that knows me can clearly recall the number of times when all that has left my mouth is a garbled mumble something akin to a frog chewing on a tennis ball. It’s a struggle.

Hand gestures are not going to cut it either. Hands up anyone that could do a hand gesture for “I would like to rent a house with 3 bedrooms, furnished, not an extortionate amount of money and a swimming pool for my mate James and his family”. Please tell me there’s someone out there actually doing this now.

Along the way I’m trying to teach the Raptors the basics, their struggle is real.

Harry is struggling with the words Banana and Potato

English     Italian      Harry

Banana    Banana    Banannananana

Potato       Patata      Patatatatata

In frustration he recently told me that he can speak English and Scottish and apparently “That’s it!” It’s alright though because Benji can speak English, Scottish and American. Sorted, don’t know why I’m worrying.

We’re doing ok. We’ll do even better when we’re there. We just can’t listen to anyone speak unless they have a speed button to slow it down. And if we can’t watch TV that can’t be a bad thing. (Until Christmas in the Queen Vic)

Any way Ciao for now. I do need to do a shout out for another mate Mark. I’ve been told I can only say clean things and that I need to lie. That just leaves me with Hi Mark.

It’ll be fine.






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