Hello, me again. The Nutty one that rambles on and on about how she’s moving to a foreign country for 18 months and is likely to forget to pack her husbands pants.

2 days. That’s all we have left now. I’ve cleaned my drawers out. (Remember keep it clean) Given away anything that I don’t need including my floppy phallic wrist rest and recycled more paper than I thought possible. I swear my paperless desk is the sole reason for deforestation.

I was given a Pizza Party lunch at work however I don’t think my mutterings truly conveyed how grateful I am to them all for their gifts etc. For all they’ve done for me over the last however long. I have made some truly wonderful friends during my time there.

Normally, being stuck for words is not something that’s an issue for me as anyone I know can agree. Being put on the spot though I suddenly discover I have amnesia and can’t remember anything since January 2016 other than a few things that I will not go into on this post.

More gifts today. More alcohol. (Raspberry Vodka), an apron (See featured picture) socks. I was also give a lovely necklace. We had to go to the Pub of course because we need to celebrate my last Thursday.

Goodbyes have picked up speed today and tomorrow I have my final leaving do at work. The chances are that I may not post anything tomorrow. If I do it should be interesting and will mainly be me telling you all how much I love you. Clearly I only show people affection when I’m drunk as I recently told mates from work I loved them and instantly they questioned how sober I was.

Dave’s new employer hasn’t received all the documentation they should have meaning that for the next 18 months we could be on holiday. Well certainly a couple of weeks. As you may have now realised, this also means that Dave and I will have to communicate during the day as well as the evening.

We’re back to not taking the Xbox again. I never thought there would be a day when I actually say to my beloved that he needs to play Xbox. I don’t mind talking to Dave please don’t think that it’s something I’m allergic to and I’m pretty sure we’ll have plenty to discuss.

What do you talk to your significant others about when they have hearing issues. His hearing issue being that he can’t hear anything that comes out of my mouth. He generally get’s lucky when I ask him to recite what important piece of rubbish I’ve just told him.

Men, you may want to close your ears for the next bit….

Ladies, hands up who’s been given the Contraceptive implant? cause I got mine yesterday. What a palaver. Firstly, I was given the wrong advice by a previous Dr, who in the process failed to give me a prescription for my implant. I turn up on the day only to be told I have to go and get said implant and bring it back within 1/2 an hour. Lovely you say. Not so as on the way I bloody twisted my ankle. Limping all the way there and back, somehow within my allotted time.

I had to sign a minor surgical procedure waiver. Have two local anesthetic injections in my arm (Thanks to my fat arms) followed by Jaws ripping my arm to shreds to fit a 4cm piece of plastic into it. Following this procedure, I’m asked if I want to feel said implant. Errrr no thanks, however I would like to feel you stopping the blood pumping out of me as if some maniac has cut me up like a piece of meat.

Three stitches, one plaster, one wad of gauze and lots of medical tape later, I’m told we’re all done. No shit Sherlock I’m about to pass out. Anyway, to anyone that may have witnessed me rushing out of the surgery to get back to aforementioned pizza lunch with my gammy limp looking somewhat pale yet sweating like a Camels arse, I do apologise.

I’ve told Mr Large that in 7 days he better be putting out.

Men you can start listening now….

So, the Raptors are still looking forward to our holiday.

Mini Moo is due to be picked up sometime this year. She’s all ready to be packed out with toys and the Ironing that I’ve still not managed to do. The bags for life have been avoided as thanks to my special friend Mr Tumbly dryer, I’ve been washing things and drying them within the same day.

I’ve ordered Kieran’s first grocery shop so he most definitely has no excuse should he starve to death.

I can’t believe how close move day is. Is it me or has it come round so quick? I don’t think 4 months would have been enough time to do everything so we’ve done flipping well. The gas and electricity have been turned on at our new apartment. The internet should also be ready for Sunday and I’ve been reliably informed that the furniture is in and the deposit/first months rent have also been received.

The weather has become rubbish as predicted and BA have had a check in failure at Gatwick. Marvelous. Just Marvelous.

So to summarise:
Dave hasn’t got a job to go into at present
I’ve got a limpy walk and a gammy arm that I can guarantee will cause issues at Security
The flight will be delayed if it takes off at all
The Car is going on a tour of Europe with some stranger
The kids don’t know we’re moving
I’ve got clean drawers
Dave and I have communication issues
Dave is going to miss his Xbox
I’m going to be off my face on Raspberry vodka and wine

Anyway, on that note, I need to go pack a few suitcases. I think I’ve officially run out of time!

Ciao for now my peeps. Hopefully I’ll get chance to post when we camp in Gatwick for 3 days.




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