As I write this, there has been the terrible atrocity on Las Vegas, my heart and thoughts go out to anyone involved in one way or another. 😦

For us Larges it is day something or other and what could be deemed as our first day of normality.

I say normality when we’re involved, normality needs to be interpreted as you see fit.

After I showered in Bubble bath and sprayed Vag freshner on my arm pits (seems I made a bit of a translation error), Dave got driven to work safely by myself and never once lost his breath.

I have decided that despite my previously stating that I could never be an aggressive driver, turns out my style of driving is distinctly Sicilian and suits me.

It seems the speed limit boards are actually displaying the minimum speed limit as I don’t think I’ve seen anyone stick to them. You drive on which ever side of the road you fancy whenever the need takes you. And you can change course at a minutes notice if you so choose. I tried it a couple of times and it worked out perfectly.

The boys and I have ventured into 3 shops. In each someone has tried to talk to me. I had the usually frozen rabbit in headlights stare for each occasion and other than the last one coped very well.

Store one – a little old lady who in a previous life was 7 foot doesn’t like that now she’s knee high to Yoda and can’t reach her bread. The Raptors had their faces squished in all directions as of she was kneading 10 year old bread dough. Or according to Benji “I feel like I’ve just had my face scratched by a cat”.

Store two – which handle did I need to go into my broom head? Turns out that unlike the UK you can’t buy said broom head with said handle together, no it has to be separate to cause maximum confusion.

Store 3 – All went really well right up until the checkout. Apparently some people go out of their way to cause confusion to English speaking Muppets. I mean how the heck did I know that the man was trying to tell me I had pencils left in my trolley or did I have an Auchan loyalty card. This time I pulled the No Capisco stunt.

I didn’t need to collect Dave, he has a friend now. He waited till I pulled the car out of the garage to let me know. He also has a night out on Thursday, seems one of us has integrated well.

The guy came to install the internet. He left half an hour later. I’m not living in a top floor apartment so there are issues. He’ll be back… I’m hoping. Either that or I have to move to a top floor apartment.

It’s raining. Not a little bit either. This is the proper stuff. I like the rain although I’ve firmly barred all doors and windows to ensure no tiny flying vampires also known as Mosquitoes come in to suck more of my blood. One already gave it his best shot earlier and I have a lovely lump on my jaw.

The boys have found their tablets to play on. They have done some exercises and tried to learn some Italian. They’ve even done some drawing.

All in all I loved today and wouldn’t change it for the world. Thank you Sicilia.

It’s bath time for the Raptors so I best go as the longer I delay the longer they have to visit the excuses bank and come up with why they shouldn’t have a bath.

Love to you all.



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