29 September 2017

So the moving to Sicily blog may have to be renamed to a 2 week working holiday in Sicily. Seems the paperwork to start my job has been sent to the Pompeii office.

Apart from the probability of returning to the UK quicker than we thought…the first week has gone pretty well.

Met some great people at work of various nationalities, I actually forget which country I’m in. I suspect by the time I move back to the UK I will be fluent in some new language made up of Polish Italian German Romanian with some cockernye rhymying thrown in.

Lee has settled in well although I think staying at home with the kids will soon enough ensure she will be finding a school for Ronnie an Reggie. They also keep grassing mummy up. Apparently she jumped over the level crossing this morning, dukes of hazard style. Kids told me they can’t cope with mummy anymore and need to move out.

I have no idea if Lee has bought some special anti persperant but I keep getting the odd whiff
from her armpits. Reminds me of my Birthday for some reason.

Fancied a glass of wine. FFS no cork screw. Put it in a shoe and banged against the wall. Tried several times. Nothing. Use the front door key. Nope. We seem to have been given about 45 keys. No idea what they are for. Decide to give up with the key method. Knife method works. the cork is disentgrated into the bottle. Spend the rest of the evening digging out bits of cork from my teeth.

Get home from work. No phone. No keys. No intercom. Decide to jump over the fence and wade through the mud bath to my house. Introduce myself to the neghbour as Dave. He’s confused as to how I know his name. I’m guessing he thinks I’m stalking him. Especially when he finds out I live in the next street over from him, back in the UK. Seems all the Dave’s from Reading have been recruited to Sicily.

Did I tell you about the wonderful Sicillian weather. To make us Brits welcome and feel at home it’s decided to piss down non stop all week. More rain this week than the previous 9 months put together. Work says if the weather doesn’t improve by the weekend all our contracts are cancelled.

I’m guessing the locals must have some incredible metabolism to burn off 9000 calories a day. Think I’ve doubled my weight this week. Went out on works dinner do. Think they tried to kill me by force feeding. Had 45 courses. Skipped desert. Drunk about 4 litres of wine. I suspect it’s watered down as I still manage to get out of the restaurant with dignity intact though I struggle to fit through the door due to my new 9 month pregnancy look.

Visited an Italian gym. I’m sure Rocky is in there some where. They could do with some of that deodorant Lee has got.

Went out for a meal Friday in Motta. Great restaurant and great people. He says Lee sounds like more of a Londoner than me. I think it’s because I’ve developed the obligatory foreign accent whilst speaking English. I wouda likea the pastaa per favore me ‘old china. Cheers mate.

Friday was great at work. Went for a tour that I wasn’t allowed on so sat in the sun for an hour. Got back to the office just in time for a special German event. Free beer and sausages 🙂 Finished at 2.30. Waiting for the wife. Eventually turns up at 4.30. I’ve melted in the sun but at least I’ve lost some weight. I don’t think Lee recognises me when she turns up.

Went to Taormina. Decided to drive past all the car parks. Have to drive for about another 3hrs before I can turn around. Lee doesn’t like the drop her side. Thinking about putting the Italian Job theme tune on but I think that will drive Lee over the edge, literally. Eventually park in the very first car park we passed. Beautiful place, went to an amphitheatre. Seems like the locals don’t like to give you change. Tickets cost 20 euros so pass over a 50. She says 20. Yes, yes I know. how about you give me 30 change? I have to get the wallet out to prove the wife has spent all the remaining cash. She was just about to give in and Lee joins in and pays with the credit card. Boys are thirsty and Lee picks the most expensive cafe in the whole of Europe. For the price of the cafe latte I would have thought I could of at least got a glass with a handle. Think they use the volcano to heat the coffee, wait another two hours before I can drink it, besides need to get my money’s worth out of this lot, I’m here for the night. Thought the Kids drinks were going to be some rare Italian recipe for the price but just turns out to be a Coke and Fanta.

Go shopping on the way home. Supermarket seems just like at home. Except just come across aisle full of tyres on the shelves. How convenient forgot I needed some 205’s for the mini. Also buy some glue for our bumper that is now flapping more than previously since I’ve pushed the Yaris to supersonic speeds of 65kph.

That’s about it for now until we have to return the car. I’ll let Lee tell you if her DIY saves us from having to take out my credit cards to pay the excess.



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