Life continues in Sicily. The boys and I are trying to entice a lovely little cat in to the house in an effort to save a stray. If we do it bit by bit Daddy will never realise. Well that’s until the thing leaves it’s inhabitants all over the place ready to bite and leap.

I tried to carry said Cat, now name Cena, into the apartment just so she’ld get a feel of our love without us having to feel the mosquito bites. (Poor Benji is still on the menu and is now looking very attractive as he models an array of red patches in various sizes over his body.) Trouble was I must have squeezed it to hard as it had an alarm system attached and I have no idea what gas came out it’s read end but it was put back outside to allow for the fog to disperse.

Little Cena is now sleeping peacefully outside our patio doors clearly recharging it’s gas tanks.

We have taken the Toyata back with its rear bumper glued tightly in place. Unfortunately Dave thought he’d test how fast the little Hybrid would go and the bumper flapped behind in clear protest. It was the most stressful car journey ever. That’s until the way home with bumper flapping at the rear and Thumper going all Kamikaze in front of us and ending up sticking to the front bumper. Ok maybe I exaggerated that a tad. It didn’t stick…

We now have what I can only liken to a posh leather seated single storey bus. It’s normal name is Renault Megane but when I’m used to my speedy little Mini moo and have issues parking even that, parking this is going to be impossible. More steering wheel slumping ahead. Although… I’ve let Dave take it to work the last couple of days. See how helpful I am….

More supermarket trips which I now find are the only places on the Island likely to bring on much sweating for my part thanks to people feeling the need to be sociable and the Raptors feeling the need to exercise their rights to be complete little sausages at the most inappropriate times.

We tried the self service checkouts which as I posted previously were the way to go. That is until you take along your significant other who has made it his one goal in life to completely bugger them up thus drawing attention from a person with a badge and zero humility. (Yes Dave I know she was alright) that’s not the point and helps me in no way as we have red flashing lights around us to warn the entire store we are foreign and imbeciles.

No news on “the paperwork” and rather depressingly we’re resigned the fact that good ole Blighty and her processes will be dealing us a right screwover. For all the bureaucracy we Brits moan about when going abroad, I think that little old Britan and it’s politics need a complete review.

As a result of missing paperwork, I’ve gone ahead and started home schooling the boys. Let me just gice a huge shout out to any primary school teachers out there. I am having trouble running round the table to two of the blighters let alone a whole class of them.

Drama class is my favourite. They have to go away, think of what they want to do a play about, practice, set up the Stage and Props etc. By the time the play starts Mummy has had 10 minutes to grab a quick old people’s nap. Before you all get judgemental you try rearing a herd of velocirators. It’s constant. Perhaps it was the noxious cat arse gas??

My laundry has been sent away again. I am feeling somewhat guilty and as a result have chosen to wash pants by hand. I’ve lost skin on knuckles I’ll have you all know. No sympathy from Dave just merely a “Why did you do that?” I mean let’s face it I love having open blisters on my hands to clean with….

We’ve just had to shut the patio doors. The cat lays confortably in the undergrowth no closer to moving in. What has moved in is a swarm of mosquito type critters. On the plus side though the kids are now enjoying a PE lesson leaping and skipping around trying to swat the bugs away to a better place one where sucking what little of my blood is left after Dracula tried to empty it two weeks ago.

Anyway, Papa Large will be home soon and I need to assist him getting the car into the garage. I could be a while.

Ciao for now peeps.


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